Tuesday, January 30, 2007

And then there was four... A study of how all the interesting contestants lost already.


Why vote for Chris!?

This is a true story: the details are fuzzy, but years ago Chris saved another man's life when he heard a loud thump in the next apartment, went in and found some dude collapsed from having mixed ammonia and bleach. Nearly passing out from the fumes himself, Chris dragged the poor bastard outside until he recovered. If I saved someone, people wouldn't hear the end of it (I can see myself now, mid-boast, accidently spittling in some girl's face at a bar), but Chris never brings it up or brags about it -- in fact, I only heard about it recently. That and he has good taste in plaid shirts.

Now, i'm a bit puzzled by the events of the past few weeks being played out in the great hot-off. i'm all for men of mystery (which partially explains my love for the enigmatic hemsky) but how is that lowetide, a man...if he is a man...makes it to the semi-finals when no one has seen what he looks like? how can i lend my support to someone who will not reveal his hotness to the world? on the other end of the spectrum, how is it that a man with a never-ending umbilicus makes it past the first round? i'm still troubled by this. But sanity prevailed and the better (ie. hotter) man won.

but back to the task at hand...Chris! may have nice lips in a "you got a pretty mouth, boy" sort of way, but the porn 'stache is doing nothing for me. grow the hair a bit longer and you've got yourself a poster boy for "CHiPs." so once again, i find myself not so much
voting for Chris! as voting against lowetide. i would like to ask everyone to do the same in protest of the lack of lowetide's hotness verification.

Whatever.

CHRIS KNOCKS OUT LOWETIDE WITH 75% OF THE VOTE!

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