Unrestricted Free Hotness: Washington Caps

It's true! The Caps aren't composed entirely of gangly Russians, despite what the NHL marketing department might lead you to believe. Even so, are their UFAs hot enough to wear copper and blue? Let's find out.

On the Blueline:

Bryan Muir
Muir was an Oiler for about 3 seconds in the mid-nineties, and was eventually traded for Guerin. Excellent trade, I'd say -- particularly for the exponential increase in team hotness. This guy looks like somebody's boring uncle. You know the one -- he buys you shitty adult contemporary CDs at Christmas and won't let you drink soda in his car because you might spill. And he lived with your grandma until he was 30. I'm sure there are some ladies who would find all that sexy, but I am not one of them. Get out of here, Uncle Bryan!

Trying to Score:

Donald Brashear
As you can see, this notorious enforcer knows how to look hot, even when he's ruining McSorley's career, cheap-shotting some sucker, or sharpening his stick into a shiv. On the other hand, he's apparently kind of a dink. What wins out: muscles or douchebaggery? You decide!