Robbie Schremp does interpretive dance about the Oilers season.

"Good news for you if you're not Rick DiPietro."

Or the rest of the Islanders.

In a scenario that a Mr. Ryan Smyth might be sort of familiar with, the goaltender of his current team, the NY Islanders, is out indefinitely TSN reports. Right near playoff time. The 67.5 million dollar man was injured on March 13th and is now suffering from post-concussion symptoms. DiPietro missed the two games following his collision with a Montreal player and NYI lost both games, allowing 13 goals. That draft pick might be looking tastier than previously thought.

And I can only assume that Bergeron is somehow responsible.

The Prez's Saturday Night

...as told to me (and the oilogosphere) via email:

First off, I'm somewhat (ok, really) intoxicated. I just came back from watching-theOilers-get-spanked-by-Nashville-then-went-to-Hudsons
-and-saw-the-Oilers-there-and-then-I-was-mad-that-they-weren't
-even-upset-that-they're-terrible-and-Joffrey-Lupul-was-trying-harder
-off-the-ice-than-on-it.

But yes, Alana...why did they win last night? I went to that game wanting Colorado to win for the obvious reasons (and then all the teams behind us fucking went on and lost tonight)...but then something changed. Yeah. Roloson was fucking amazing. Reasoner? He was the only one who scored on the shootout. I don't know if you guys were able to watch that game, but it didn't even seem like we were outshot 2:1. The last two periods (because we all know by now these Oilers cannot play all three periods well) were awesome. Something happened and I wanted them to win. It was sick. I should not have let emotions get to me. But I was glad they won. Your gentlemen friends were awesome. Well, mine was, too, but for a different
league (hello...Igor Ulanov's three point game in a playoff sweep over Malkin's former team...). And just an aside: I'm in contact with a season ticket holder for the Lokomotiv, and she says that Grebeshkov is quite the offensive defenseman (I'm sure MacT will change THAT in a hurry), but he makes plenty o' grave defensive errors (MAB?). And Mikhnov is carrying the team through the playoffs. Apparently he's God over there right now. Fucker. And Ulanov is getting game misconduct penalties like it's nobody's business.

Oilers sightings: I saw Greene at O'Byrnes on St. Patrick's day, and I had a conversation with him for about three minutes. We discussed how we were both fans of Igor Ulanov. How sweet. Then he said that he was like his grandpa. Sexy! Tonight I had the "pleasure" of seeing Lupul, Mommy, Jacques, Hemsky, Greene and Smid (he's sort of built funny) at Hudson's on
Whyte. I think they should have been sitting in the corner thinking how they ruined our lives.

This e-mail is about nothing. But Gilbert looks Ulanovesque, and I like it.

I bet these guys could beat the Oilers, too.

D'oh!

Of all the games left in the season, why did the Oil have to go and win this one? Not only did last night's shootout win against Colorado put us farther away from a first draft pick, it did nothing to help the Avs catch the (ew) Flames in the standings.

The good news: my boyfriend Dwayne Roloson stopped a season-high 43 shots to get the first star of the game, Hemsky's back and scoring goals, Loxy's boyfriend Marty Reasoner got the shootout winner, and Lupul scored on the ice for once!

That's all well and good, but let's get back to losing -- first draft pick, here we come!

Cuts like a Knife

It's the end of the road for Steve Staios, at least for this season. He's undergoing surgery for a dislocated knee cap. His forgotten team mate Tjarnqvist just had surgery for a sports hernia earlier this week.

Edmonton was officially eliminated from the playoffs with Calgary's victory over Detroit last night. It's the earliest that the Oilers have ever been out of the playoffs. Ouch. But like we didn't see it coming. I won't be depressed with an Oilers loss tonight, for I like high draft picks. And I wouldn't mind if Colorado snuck up on Calgary, either.

Go Yaroslavl!

Thank you Bobby Lou

As I made a nice big batch of lasagne last night, I flipped through the TV channels, trying to figure out what to watch. I stumbled upon the Oilers-Canucks game and decided, hell, why not watch? How bad can it be? It was bad... I thought the Oilers might win.

While I don't support giving up, I do support getting a high draft pick. The plethora of injuries means that we've started bringing up players from the QMJHL. Junior players! Junior players who aren't the next Sidney Crosby. We don't deserve to win. But give the kids playing time, by all means!

I live in Vancouver and am scared of the playoff run the Canucks might make this year. Canucks fans have been unbearable in my two years in the lower mainland. If it weren't for the fans, I could probably get behind this team. They've made some good moves, they play hard and have overachieved without becoming a favorite. The play of Roberto Luongo, despite his lack of a playoff record, makes me wonder if Vancouver was only a goaltender graveyard because they never had a bonafide starter.

The Vancouver I saw last night underperformed in a way reminscent of the Oilers down the stretch last year. They had already convinced me they deserved to be in the playoffs, but struggled against bottom feeders. But when your best player is your goaltender, teams beware.

A hot goaltender can take a team a long way in the post season. Last night's version of the canucks didn't have a team that scared me. It had a goaltender that was positionally remarkable, perfectly timed and just a bit lucky. While they can't win every game 2-1... they only have to win four each series...

Wake me up when the riots are over.

And Raffi thinks he can get the ladies...