Ulie rises again!

Starting in November, Ulanov will be wearing a jersey for Mikhnov's old team, Yaroslavl. I'm sad to see him leave Canada, but if it means that I'll get to obsessively follow his hockey career again, I'm all for it. I really missed his angelic on-ice moves. It's been too long.

I guarantee that the young guns over in the elite league will learn a thing or two from the seasoned hands of Igor Ulanov. They too will develop mighty battle scars on their faces. Perhaps I will one day lust after them. But not likely, for they will be far too young for my tastes. And nobody will ever be as deliciously robust.

A loaf of bread, a carton of eggs, dreamy eyes...

Ladies of Edmonton: Head on down to the Calgary Trail Save on Foods (3361 Calgary Trail South) today between 1 and 2 PM if you'd like to pick up some eye candy with your groceries. Dreamy-eyed (and single!) Joffrey Lupul will be signing autographs.

Is the answer Jesus?

After their devestating 6-2 loss to the awful Coyotes yesterday, the Oil will really need to step it up against Alexander Ovechkin and the Red Squares this weekend. Plagued by impotent offence and apathetic goaltending for the past two games, I think the boys are in need of a serious pep talk before Saturday's throwdown. And who better to rile up the players than the immortal Reggie Dunlop?



Take notes, MacT.

Chris Pronger ruined my birthday.

The Ducks were not supposed to win last night. Oilers fans were supposed to experience the glorious feeling one feels when the enemy is defeated. Instead, that smug bastard Pronger got three assists and left the Oilers with their heads hanging.

Now I'm scared. Prior to last night, I didn't really pay much attention to Anaheim. I knew that they were good, that a few of them were madly collecting points for my fantasy teams, but I felt this sense of entitlement (similar to how I felt before the infamous game seven). It seemed like losing wasn't a possibility. The Oilers were supposed to kick Pronger's ass.

On a good note, Stoll has picked up the pace. I hope it lasts.

I'm going to the November 28th game against Anaheim. I'd very much like to wear some sort of anti-Pronger costume. Any ideas?

Happiness had better be restored tonight.

Heart and Soul of Team Badly in Need of Brain

*Headline shamelessly stolen from The Onion

Enemy #1

When I see him on TV, hear his name, read anything about him, I get this knot in my soul. It's a pain that can only be soothed by looking deep into the eyes of Joffrey Lupul and imagining his lips form the words "Oh, Loxy."

And even still, there is still a feeling that I that remains - a lingering hate. I can't get over it. And I hope the Oilers haven't either.

This is their greatest challenge yet, playing a team with two number 1 goaltenders, a capable forward set, and a number 1 jerkface.

Am I ever going to forgive him for abandoning us? Not anytime soon. But it will make it feel better tonight when the Oil put him in his place.

Sorry, Gretzky...

Boos for Comrie, cheers for Laraque.

The last time I attended a game against Phoenix, Edmonton destroyed them 7-1. On Monday, I again had the pleasure of witnessing the destruction of the Coyotes, even if it was on a slightly lesser scale.

The Oilers finally benefitted from their man advantage, scoring twice on the powerplay. Horcoff and Stoll finally scored their firsts of the season, leaving a frustrated-looking and pointless Pisani in the dust.

Baldness helped Raffi Torres, as he scored the first goal of the game. Maybe if he shaves off the ludicrous facial hair, he'll get promoted back to the second line. But not likely, because Thoreson is a machine! This city will quickly fall in love with the Thoreson-Sykora-Hemsky line, for good reason. Sykora and Hemsky scored the fourth and fifth goals for the Oilers last night, giving Sykora four points on the night.

Mikhnov played his first regualr season NHL game last night, unimpressively. He wouldn't have even been noticed, had it not been for his enormous stature and snail-paced skating. We miss you, Ethan.

Edmonton is obsessed with Laraque. I saw no fewer than seven Phoenix Laraque jerseys, and that was just from where I was sitting. Would you purchase the jersey for your favourite team or for your favourite player?

The night's three stars: The Oilers' second line. Sykora, Hemsky and Thoreson took first, second and third respectively.

Oilers forwards (who play on a regular basis) yet to score a goal: Reasoner, Winchester and Pisani!

In other news, you can now test your Ulanov knowledge!