Let's Get Physical

Looks like MacT took my advice and decided to bag skate the team to get their endurance up for tomorrow's game. No word yet on the shirtless photos...

In other news, Hot Oil favourite Kyle Brodziak is the only Oilers prospect to score a goal for the Dunder Mifflin Penguins so far this season. Once again, Schremp gets owned.

Finally, a big Happy Birthday to my boyfriend Dwayne, who turns 37 tomorrow! You know what would be a great birthday present, Oilers D? A shutout against Thornton, Cheechoo and company. Make it happen!

Reason..er.. Number 3.

Genetics have been good to the Reasoner family. Sure they had a penance for matching outfits in the mid-90s, but the middle brother, David, went onto to becoming a golf pro, so the outfit works. And Marty is wearing Oilers blue!

The real "reason" (hehe, you should be happy I didn't throw in Rod "ex of Rachel Hunter" Stewart's Reason to Believe on midi file) that I'm writing this post is to highlight Reasoner #3. Adam no longer looks twelve years old. It's amazing what 10 years will do for a kid.

As a goaltender for Boston College, he hopes one day to be an NHL hockey player like his big brother Marty. Seriously, it says so on his (class project?) website. Watch out ladies, he's taken - by some sort of Calista Flockhart-Elizabeth Hasselbeck girl. And he loves HTML. What a man!

Dear Mr. Moreau -

Congratulations! This letter is to inform you that you have won the first annual Hot-Off competition hosted by Hot Oil, a month-long battle to determine who the hottest Oiler is. Your victory was no small feat, considering the high overall level of hotness represented on the Edmonton Oilers roster.

In your first-round win against Igor Ulanov, you were established as an early favourite with the voter comment “Ethan looks like he could make you ovulate from across the room with one glance.” As the competition went on, Petr Sykora, Raffi Torres, Craig MacTavish, and finally Dwayne Roloson were also felled by our voters’ passion for your, er, “shorthanded goal record.”

Please find enclosed a “Certificate of Hotness” documenting your status as Hot Champion 2006, as well as a few tokens of our appreciation for your toothless smile.

The above letter and certificate were mailed to our Hot-Off champion Ethan Moreau yesterday, care of the Oilers, along with some "prizes." For your entertainment (or boredom, depending on how exciting you find colour printers), I have photo-documented the process by which our grand prize package was assembled and mailed:

Here's my printer at work. Way to go, little guy!

Here I am typing the letter. If this were Top Model, Janice Dickinson would say that my hand looks like a catcher's mitt.

The certificate goes into an envelope. I used cardboard to make sure the paper wouldn't get creased!

Look what I found in my medicine cabinet!

Here's the total package: letter in the white envelope; certificate in the yellow. In addition to the Hot Oil, our prizes include Hot Rod meat sticks and Hot Tamales candy. Nothing goes with processed meat like synthetic cinnamon flavour!

Here's my friendly neighborhood postal worker getting ready to ship our package off to the winner. Huzzah!

Happy Birthday, Raffi!

Birthday wishes extended to Raffi Torres. He is a quarter of a century old today. Mr. Torres makes all the girls melty! And I cannot seem to shake this weird crush that I have on him.

Boo-urns

What an effing shitshow. The game got off to a good start, with dreamy-eyed Lupul scoring his first goal as an Oiler, but what was with the parade of penalties in the 2nd and the complete lack of hustle in the 3rd on the way to a 2-1 loss to the (ugh) Flames? Disappointing, to say the least.

Did anyone else (shamefully) hope that Kipper wouldn't get up after being pummeled by Raffi? That guy singlehandedly kept the Flames in the game (as usual) -- he has some amazing moves. At the other end, I wasn't thrilled with Roli's play -- at least one of those goals probably shouldn't have gone in, and he was way out of position at times. However, he did save the defencemen's asses on a few plays so I think it evens out.

Speaking of -- holy crap there were some HUGE defensive mistakes tonight. Smid, in particular, definitely shows his age. I chuckled when one of the play-by-play guys said that Greene "could become one of the league's best defensemen," but I have to hand it to the guy -- he looked relatively good in this game and stayed out of the penalty box.

It was frustrating to see the team playing like they had given up midway through the third. They turned it on in the last minute-and-a-half of the game, but that's not enough to win. I think some more (shirtless) endurance training may be just what the doctor ordered, MacT! Don't forget to take pictures.

PS: Does anyone else hate that commercial with the lady banging her empty glass against the fridge to let her husband know she wants a new appliance? What a passive-agressive bitch.

I *heart* czechs.

The Oilers, now featuring the Chex-Mex line of Hemsky, Sykora and Torres.
(nickname stolen from oilfans.com, the picture below is all google pictures search.)

Oh. Yeah.

Now that I've overcome the feeling of loss over the end of the Hot Off, I'm able to talk a little bit about the hotness of yesterday's game (which I was lucky enough to go to).

The Western Conference banner was raised and revealed in front of the fans, while the Oilers sat in the dressing room. It was on the other side of the scoreboard from where I was sitting, so I couldn't really see it. But I knew it was there.

It's clear that Roloson did not suffer any permanent damage from his injury in June (thank your lucky stars, Bergeron).

Sykora was obviously the hero of the game, earning himself the first star. With three points on the game, he went on to prove that he's more than just a silly emo haircut. He's not on either of my fantasy hockey teams, but he made an assist on the goal of Krasnokamsk Charm's very own defenseman, Daniel Tjarnqvist (and I was ridiculed for that pick). Tjarnqvist spent more time on the ice than any other Oiler that game. And he's sexy.

Thoreson also impressed me on Thursday. He threw his body all over the ice in attempts to block the puck. The boy is fearless like Igor Ulanov.

This post tells you nothing of Edmonton's sweet 3-1 victory, but a) you've heard it before, and b)I've been celebrating Alexander Keith's belated 211th birthday. And I've been celebrating hard.

Mr. Hot Oil Hot Off 2006 gets a contract extension! And the Oilers new site is hideous. I hate change.