All is not lost!

Thanks to an anonymous commenter's tip, it's come to my attention that the dreamy Kyle Brodziak has been recalled to replace that good-for-nothing Petr Nedved! Brodziak's been having a sweet season, with a +11 and career-high scoring. I'm under no illusions that he'll pull the Oilers' season out of the toilet, but at least we'll have some eye candy to help us through the last few weeks. RAWR!

I caught a grand total of two minutes of tonight's debacle...

and all the footage I saw was of Roli kicking his own ass to save the game. How depressing must it be to finally, finally be a starting NHL goalie, only to have an AHL team in front of you?

A Begrudging Look at our New Oilers

Robert Nilsson
Son of Oilers scout Kent Nilsson and godson of the great Gretz, this nepo-TASTIC aquisition was born in Calgary and grew up a Flames fan. Seems like a fair trade for a guy who bled Oilers orange since the day he was born. It gets better: Robbie here is apparently the most bland man alive, listing his favourite TV show as "Friends," his favourite movie as "The Shawshank Redemption," his favourite book as "The Da Vinci Code,' and his favourite food as "pizza." Ladies, if you like your men moderately good-looking and devestatingly boring, you are in luck!

On the bright side, this Sweden-raised fellow has been compared to fellow Scandinavians Forsberg, Naslund, and the Sedin twins. He's a good skater, with solid play-making skills and a hard shot. However, his largest weakness has been identified to be his defensive game. BEAUTY!

Nilsson also seems to have a bit of Schremp in him when it comes to unconventional stick-handling techniques. This video shows him scooping and lifting the puck over a goalie's shoulder. Blinded by bitterness, even I can admit that that's pretty sweet (although I think my favourite thing about the clip is that it's called "Icehockey Superscore!").

Ryan O'Marra
Ryan here led Team Canada to the gold medal at the 2004 U-18 World Junior Cup as an assistant captain. I guess K.Lo found it reasonable to replace "Captain Canada" with "Assistant Captain Canada, Junior." O'Marra also played on the winning 2006 and 2007 Canadian World Junior Ice Hockey Championship teams, so he's got that going for him.

As this video shows, Ryan is an attractive man who is obsessed with Gatorade. He's also a good fighter. These are definitely qualities I can get behind.

TRIVIA: Mr. O'Marra has the distinction of being the first Japanese-born player to be selected in the first-round of the NHL draft, even if he was only born in Japan because his Canadian parents were travelling on business. Squee?

The latest in the Smyth Saga

An online petition: http://ryansmyth.epetitions.net/

Gone but not forgotten.

Smyth started his NHL career in Edmonton and became an icon in the city. He was an Oilers fan as a kid, starting when he was four; while growing up in Banff, he prayed for magic shoes so he could walk to Edmonton and be part of the team, his father said.

- Edmonton Journal

Thanks to Tyler for the tip. Check Always On The Road for the full press conference video.

I just want to sleep.

We'll miss you, Smytty.

God Bless this Mess

With everyone all atwitter about the trade deadline, it's easy to forget that today is special for another reason: it's finally time to appreciate everyone's favourite potato chip spokesman and my first-ever Oiler crush, Mr. Mark Messier. The fun- and salty snack-loving Moose will have his jersey retired tonight before the Phoenix game which, as any Oiler fan knows, will trigger a lengthy and depressing losing streak. No matter -- there isn't any season left to save!

In reverence to the great number eleven: squee.