Today's Battle is Brought to You by the Letter P!

'Nando may be sick, but I get the feeling he'll still give new kid Pitkanen a run for his money in today's showdown. What's your preference: lasagna, or ludefisk?


No Contest. Pants takes it.

Day Whatever: If O'Marra got sent down, do we still do this matchup?

Dustin "Otto the Hippo" Penner

Ryan "Somehow I thought he'd look fatter" O'Marra

Polls closed due to lack of interest. PENNER TAKES IT!

Hot Oil Hot Off Day 6: The Champ vs. My Daddy Works for the Organization

Why did we even do this? Moreau wins.




Ethan Moreau, above, is last year's Hot Off champion. Did he acknowledge the great honour bestowed upon him? No. But he likes to entertain children.

Robert Nilsson has been fairly impressive in the pre-season. He likes to bite his lip in concentration. Short of his daddy forcing a win, I don't think there's much Nilsson can do to take out Chompy.

Vote now in the comments section!

Hot Oil Hot-Off: "Day" 5

I'm not sure why we're still calling these "days," since we're taking a more lackadaisical approach this year, but whatever. Day 5 it is. Today's matchup pits Horc against JFJ. What turns you on more: husky eyes, or punches to the face? Vote over. Horcoff stares down the competition!

Scorcoff

JFJ

Day 4 - Cutie and the Beast

You'd be hard-pressed to guess their correct ages, but maybe you like your boys to look like men and your men to look like boys. And hey, soon Hemsky might hit puberty!
VOTING OVER! HEMMMMSSSSKKYYYY!

Pre-season notes:

How hot is a line of Marty, Hot-Rodziak and defending hot-off champion Ethan Moreau?

Red hot.

7 points last night? HURRAH!

Hot Off - Day 3: The Cold War Revival

Denis Grebeshkov is Russian, which makes him automatically sexy in the eyes of some women. And his arrival sent MAB packing.

Taking on Grebeshkov is American Tom Gilbert. Gilbert looks somewhat like a young, pre-pucks-to-the-facial-area Ulanov, which might makes him sexy in the eyes of some women.

A difficult choice! Vote now in the comments section (No anonymous votes)!

Gilbert chokes out the competition.

Hot-Off, Part Deux

With the delicious Kyle Brodziak onto the second round, it's time to have a look at some more new Oilers.

Sam Gagner is fresh from the draft, and apparently styles himself after Criss Angel.

Mathieu Garon is a French goalie who likes to strike come-hither poses in net.

La vote est terminé! Gagner a gagné!

Hot Off - Day 1!

Hot Oil favorite Kyle Hot-Rodziak might be married now (if comment rumours are right) but that won't stop a girl from hopin'! He takes on another young guy who hasn't cracked the Oilers roster, Andrew Cogliano. Each of the boys has a very different look, so this should be a great battle to start the day hot-off off.

Vote now in the comments. :) No Anonymous!

VOTING OVER! SEXY KYLE MOVES ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!

Hot Oil Presents: The Hottest Oiler in History!

It's MacT! Ladies love the coach! And glasses. Take note, boys.

Thanks for voting, folks. The real Hot-Off will begin this afternoon.

It's the most wonderful time of the year: Hot Oil Hot Off 2007

Ethan Moreau(not pictured above) puts his title on the line in the 2nd annual Hot Off. This year we've excluded the coaching staff, making room for some up-and-comers, and ensuring that MacT doesn't dominate everything but the final round (and it looks like he might win the historical hot off, so is it really fair?).

We're gonna do the comment-based voting again, because it's much more interesting - and less work for us. No anonymous!

Does anyone know how I would draw the brackets on my little MacBook? Either way, I've listed the first round below.

Kyle Brodziak vs, Andrew Cogliano

Sam Gagner vs. Mathieu Garon

Tom Gilbert vs. Denis Grebeshkov

Matt Greene vs. Ales Hemsky

Shawn Horcoff vs JF Jacques

Ethan Moreau vs.Robert Nilsson

Ryan O'Marra vs. Dustin Penner

Fernando Pisani vs. Joni Pitkanen

Marc Pouliot vs. Marty Reasoner

Dwayne Roloson vs. Mathieu Roy

Geoff Sanderson vs. Rob Schremp

Ladislav Smid vs. Steve Staios

Jarret Stoll vs Zack Stortini

Sheldon Souray vs. Dick Tarnstrom

Patrick Thoresen vs. Raffi Torres

Slava Trunkno vs. Igor Ulanov

This will be starting on Saturday once the Historical Hot Off wraps up. If you haven't voted yet, vote now!

Historical Hot-Off, Finals!

Who will be crowned the hottest Oiler EVAR: Stanley-Cup-ring-wearing player-coach Craig MacTavish, or ... recent captain Jason Smith. Seriously. How did Gator get past perma-stubbled and dreamy-eyed Paul Coffey? COME ON!

Vote for your wet dream in the comments, old-school-like. No anonymous votes!

To keep you entertained during this sure-to-be thrilling and unpredictable round, Hot Oil presents: The Chicken Dance

Shaggy Shags Russia

After being edged out of the Oilers blue line by another interchangeable Swedish defenceman prone to injuries/sickness, Tjarnqvist and his glorious hair sign a one-year deal with AK Bars Kazan in the Russian Superleague. Kick his ass, Ulie.