Hot and Not in 2006: A Recap

HOT	ugh, so NOT
Craig MacTavish	Craig Simpson
The Playoff Run	The Playoffs End
Marty in Stereo	Marty in Boston
Ethan Moreau's Hot Bod	Ethan Moreau's Shoulder
Chris "Hero" Pronger	Chris "Fucking" Pronger
Joffrey Lupul's Eyes	Joffrey Lupul's Eye for the Net
Ulanov in Edmonton	Ulanov in Russia
Schremp in the O	Schremp in a Speedo
Roli vs. Cheechoo	Roli vs. Bergeron
The Rookies	The Number of Rookies
Our Christmas Gifts	Our Christmas Record
This Website and the girls who maintain it.	The fact that we didn't think of it sooner.

As much as we wanted a Stanley Cup, sometimes it's not in the cards. I think we'll all remember the run with fondness, longing and respect. Lets look towards 2007 and take the ups with the downs. It's going to be a good year, regardless of what happens.

Thanks for the support! Best of luck to you and your loved ones in the New Year!

Remember to Vote Rory! Voting ends January 2nd at 9pm PT!

Coming! Tuesday, January 2nd!

Of note! I know that there are many hot, talented women of the Oilogosphere and I salute them. But is there really any competition for Hot-Oil's The Prez? Right. I didn't think so.

So, I give to you, the hottest men of the Oilogosphere. If you haven't submitted your picture, please do so or you will be assigned a picture. Also, any information about you would be appreciated - your favorite oiler, at what rate you're losing your hair, what you look for in a lady, etc. (Send here)

Here's what the schedule will look like:
January 2 - Andy Grabia vs. The Anonymous Poster vs. AsiaOil
January 4 - Black Dog vs. Chris! vs. Colby Cosh
January 6 - Dennis vs. Donecoyote vs. Kinger
January 8 - Lord Bob vs. Lowetide vs. Marc Ciampa
January 10 - Matt vs. MattM vs. MC79
January 12 - Michael vs. MikeW vs. Mirtle
January 14 - Pleasure Motors vs. RiversQ vs. Sacamano
January 16 - Shawn vs. Speeds vs. Vic Ferrari

The next round will begin January 18th. All voting will be anonymous.

(And really, we'll need something to keep our minds busy while the Oilers go in the tank)

Oil Loot!

Happy holidays, everyone! I hope y'all got what you wanted for Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, or whatever. In addition to the usual chocolate and socks, I received some sweet Oilers swag (pictured above). Real-life boyfriend Dave gave me the sexy Oil stretchy gloves, which will be great for street hockey, and the hockey stick signed by Ryan "Heart and Soul" Smyth came from my brother. Although I was tempted by the potential dirty-goal-getting power of Smytty's blessing, I will not be using the stick for street hockey. Thanks, bro!

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Especially Ovechkin. (Go to tsn.ca and the broadband videos - The Night Before Christmas - adorable!)

The Hot-Oil Oilogosphere Hot-Off

Now seeking submissions for photographs of the following bloggers:

From Covered in Oil:
Chris!
Mike W
Pleasure Motors

From Battle of Alberta:
Andy Grabia
Matt (though he's not really Oily, and will probably falter in the first round because of it)
Sacamano

From Irreverant Oil Fans:
Vic Ferrari
Dennis
RiversQ

From Always on the Road:
Kinger
MattM

From their own respective sites:
Lowetide
Black Dog Hates Skunks
MC79
Colby Cosh
Mirtle

That makes for a perfect sweet sixteen, but let me know if you think I'm missing someone! I wouldn't dare prevent anyone from participating in the competition.

How you know your real boyfriend likes you this Christmas: A True Story

He gets you a signed and framed Marty Reasoner picture for Christmas.

(By the way, sorry about dropping the ball on the 12 days of Xmas threads. They weren't turning out that good anyways!)

What Your Oiler Boyfriend Says About You: Coach Edition

A girl whose heart belongs to MacT appreciates the finer things in life. She is always dressed to the nines but, though she may look like a lady, she's no stranger to salty language. When driving, she eschews her seatbelt -- fear of injury is a foreign concept. Her favourite movie is Slapshot, primarily because she fantasizes about Reggie Dunlop.

A lady who loves Huddy is clearly turned on by a strong plus/minus rating. As such, she may be mathematically-minded and have a job that requires her to use a calculator on a regular basis. No metrosexuals for this girl -- she prefers "real" men and is probably into traditional gender roles when it comes to relationships. Her favourite movie is Die Hard because John McClane is so very hot.

A woman who digs Craig Simpson is strangely drawn to real estate advertisements, and therefore loves to ride public transit. When eating with a group, she enjoys passing the salt around the table five or six times before actually using it on her food. When she finally does so, she often misses her plate and has to again pass the shaker around the table before attempting a second try. Her favourite film is Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie because Sonic equals teh hottness!!1!1!!

A chick who's crushing on Bill Moores is modest and embarassed by the spotlight. Bill's faceoff expertise turns her on because she appreciates the importance of seemingly simple things in the grand scheme of it all. She may also have a daddy complex. Her favourite movie is The Wizard of Oz because the mysterious wizard is like whoa.

On the third day of Christmas, the Oilers gave to me...

Three big hits

Marty Mic'ed up

And a lost helmet from Roli!

Potato Salad?

Keeping with the holiday theme that Loxy's got going on around here, above you will find a ridiculously cute segment on The Oilers' Christmas memories. I love how the editing makes it sound like Fernando Pisani used to receive lasagna as a Christmas gift each year. BADABOOMBADABING!

On the second day of Christmas, the Oilers gave to me...

Marty Mic'ed up

And a lost helmet from Roli

On the first day of Christmas, the Oilers gave to me...

A lost hel-met from Roli.

Some Saturday Morning Roli Squee-age

Coming off of his second straight shutout, this time against Dallas (ew), Roli has been selected to be one of NHL.com's Three Stars! That's my boy. Now he just has to keep the puck out of the net for 22 minutes and 15 seconds more against Chicago, and he'll break his personal shutout streak record.

Here's an interesting YouTube clip -- Roli wore a mic at the November 28th game against Anaheim and, like any good goalie, he does a lot of hollering at his defence. He also makes a cute "oof" sound when he falls over. Enjoy!

The Hot-Oil Hot Prospects

With a seemingly unending road down injury lane for veteran Oilers, we will be seeing more and more prospects suiting up in the next weeks. So, here's a rundown of the top ten prospects that we'd like to see in an Oil jersey this year... preferrably in less than an Oil jersey...

10. Taylor Chorney - Not the most flattering picture, but it does show his great facial structure. I think his lack of lips are what put him so low on this list.







9. Theo Peckham - How adorable! Right? Now if only guys could realize that there is hockey facial hair or no facial hair.. in between is skeezy.






8. Glenn Fisher - What list would be complete without a goalie? He surpasses the ranks of DD and JDD on sheer normality. And I love the DD, I just think Glenn is better looking, in a "fuzzy pic on lavalife where you meet the guy and realize later that sure, it's the same guy but he totally misrepresented himself" kind of way.

7. Fredrik Pettersson - Has a similar look to the guy who comes in at number 1. But he doesn't pull it off quite as well.






6. Andrew Cogliano - More TV time this Christmas when he plays with the World Jrs could affect his hot prospect ranking. TV time is the death or birth of hockey crushes. (Until they do something like refuse to shake your hand at a Tragically Hip concert, which forces you to close down your fanpage.)


5. Dragan Umicevic - With a name only a mother could love, and a look that would be perfect in a musical about rival latino-bosnian gangs.. LT was right, he deserves to be on this list.


4. Brock Radunske - Don't you just want to cuddle him? Even if he does look slightly like a girl with short hair?





3. Viatcheslav "Slava" Trukhno (on right) - The eyes, the complete and utter russian-ness. And to look this good in a candid picture with a fan? How soon does The Prez realize her heart has room for two Russian men?

2. Robbie Schremp - The man, the legend. The banana-hammock.






1. Kyle Hot-Rodziak - This is the official kick-off to the "Brodziak for callup" campaign. The man can do no wrong in our eyes and hearts.